Resources

The first thing to say about dissociative amnesia is that it is real. We actually do dissociate those experiences that are a threat to our psyches or to our relationships or possibly to our survival. Dissociation and DA are natural mechanisms of our brains—as natural as memory itself. However, there has always been and still is, confusion, obfuscation, and outright dishonesty around the subjects, so here are some recommendations and links for information about DA.

DA is a condition that has been described and studied since the 1800s and has been listed in the DSM since 1980:

Dissociative Amnesia is characterized by an inability to recall important personal information, usually of a traumatic or stressful nature, that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness

DA is described by respectable medical organizations like the Merck Manual, Mayo Clinic, and Cleveland Clinic. The following is from Cleveland Clinic:

Dissociative amnesia is when your mind blocks out important information about yourself, causing “gaps” in your memory. One of the most common reasons your mind blocks out things is to protect you from unpleasant, distressing or traumatic experiences. It’s not the same as simply forgetting something. In most cases, you still have the memories but can’t access them.

Dissociative amnesia often happens because of very traumatic experiences, including abuse, war and natural disasters. People with dissociative amnesia have an increased risk of self harm or suicidal behaviors.

DA is more extensively discussed on the Merck Manual website. Here is a page from The Leadership Council.

Jim Hopper has long had an extensive website discussing the aftermath of trauma. He has a section on memory issues with links to articles at the “In the Media” page and other resources in “Additional Resources.” Ross Cheit has a website specifically about recovered memory: “The Recovered Memory Archive.”

DA is written about much less than other psychiatric conditions, and I have only found a few books that discuss it at length.

Lenore Terr’s Unchained Memories (unique in exploring amnesia for different types of trauma) 
Jennifer Freyd’s Betrayal Trauma
Charles Whitfield’s Memory and Abuse 
Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery
The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

More recently, there are three chapters (8, 11,12) on traumatic memory in the stellar 2014 book, The Body Keeps the Score. And I found two books particularly helpful in coming to understand my structural dissociation: The Haunted Self by Onno van der Hart, et al, and Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, by Janina Fisher.

Memoirs by people who have dissociated childhood abuse include:

Miss America By Day, by Marilyn van Derbur
My Father’s House, by Sylvia Fraser
the autobiographical novel I Met Her Before, by Chandra Moyer
The Invisible Key, by Maria Socolof
My Life Now, by Mary Knight
On Angels Wings, by Gloria Masters (explicit account of severe abuse; discussion of author’s amnesia for that abuse starts on page 121)
False Memories: The Deception That Silenced Millions, by Lynn Crook (both memoir and reportage of the FMSF)
the (possibly autobiographical) novel Will and Testament, by Vigdis Hjorth     

Though they don't discuss amnesia, I also recommend two eloquent and insightful memoirs of child sexual abuse: Raising Wrenns, by Mal Wrenn Corbin and Chosen: A Memoir of Stolen Boyhood by Stephen Mills

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The blog Healing Honestly contains several posts where the author discusses her lack of memory of abuse.

In the excellent Netflix series The Keepers, the amnesia of one of the victims of sexual abuse by a priest is clearly portrayed.

Mary Knight, a survivor, has many films on YouTube that focus on recovery from repressed memory. In Am I Crazy? she interviews people who have led campaigns against the reality of dissociative amnesia.

In podcasts, search for interviews of Chandra Moyer. On the podcast Inside Eyes there are several interviews with individuals who remembered repressed memories using psychedelics. A podcast episode I found particularly interesting is an interview with a British woman with DA, Lee Teresa Moore. She seems to have fugue states as well as DA for childhood abuse. Another podcast episode is “Repressed Memories and Childhood Trauma.”

I also recommend this outstanding podcast episode with Bessel van der Kolk: The Ezra Klein Show, August, 2021, “This Conversation Will Change How You Think About Trauma.”

Finally, some recent articles about the FMSF (False Memory Syndrome Foundation), showing how it began and what it’s purpose was (to protect people who had been accused of sexual abuse):

“The Memory War” by Katie Heaney; “The Rise and Fall of the False Memory Syndrome Foundation,” by Kate McMaugh; “The False Memory Syndrome at 30,” by Joshua Kendall; and “Harvey Weinstein’s “False Memory” Defense and its Shocking Origin Story,” by Anna Holtzman.

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Please tell me if you know of other books (especially memoirs), articles, websites, videos or podcast episodes that discuss the loss of memories and their recovery. I will continue to add to this list.

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